This week is Thanksgiving and it got me thinking about what a child might say to thank their parents for how they succeeded in parenting through their separation.
It might go something like this:
“Hi Mum and Dad thank you for:
- Understanding that although you are hurting, I am confused, scared and sad too;
- asking me how I feel and for taking the time to listen to what I have to say;
- thinking how your actions might impact on me;
- taking the time to explain to me that your separation is not my fault;
- not making me chose between you;
- not talking badly about each other to me and not trying to get me to take ‘sides’ – however much you might want to;
- understanding that I do not want to hear you both disagreeing and arguing in front of me;
- taking time to pay attention to me;
- taking the time to consider the logistics of going backwards and forwards between 2 homes;
- Understanding that it might take me time to adjust to the new arrangements;
- Making me feel that my views matter and that I have a say;
- For keeping me informed about what is going to happen;
- For allowing me to love you both without condition.
Separation and divorce impacts children. This is inevitable. However, separation can be done well.
Mediation can help you make plans for your children. As a child inclusive mediator, I can also meet with your children, and ensure that they have their say in the mediation process. If you need help with making plans for your children or would like to find out more about how mediation works, click here