Mediating your divorce or separation is an opportunity to try and settle your case without going to court. However, to be successful, you must be well prepared. Follow our FIVE TOP TIPS to help make your mediation a positive experience:-
Be prepared for your mediation to ensure that you make the most of it. It may be your last chance to resolve matters out of court, and to get the outcome that you really want. Mediation is your chance to save yourself the time, money and emotional stress that will be involved if you go to court. Take time to discuss how the process works with the mediator so that you know what to expect. Make sure that you spend time thinking about the issues that you want to resolve. Write your thoughts down if you think that will help you to stay focussed during the meetings. If the mediator asks you for information or documentation provide these promptly and in full. Make sure that you know your own materials so that you can explain them if need be.
Give yourself sufficient time to attend the mediation: avoid having to rush to or from meetings. At meetings, expect the unexpected. If you are not sure how to respond to a particular scenario being put forward by your ex, explain this to the mediator: remember you do not have to make rush decisions in mediation. You can have time between meetings to think about what is being suggested and to take legal advice. If you feel yourself becoming stressed or upset during meetings, let the mediator know so that they can help to find a way forward that meets your particular concerns: remember that the mediator is there to help you and your ex reach a positive outcome.
Listen and keep listening: Mediation is all about listening to what your ex is saying: try and stay focussed on the issues and the problems rather than on how you are feeling about your ex. This is not easy, but if you can listen to what is being proposed, it will help you to consider all of the options.
Be determined that you can resolve matters without going to court. Whilst it may not be easy to reach a solution, thinking that you can, and remaining positive will take you a long way towards achieving a successful outcome. Having a positive attitude will help you through the more challenging times there can be in mediation: it takes determination and hard work to find solutions to difficult problems. Remember however that it will be worth all the hard work, and will save you thousands of pounds if you can keep out of court.
Think about whether your objectives are realistic: mediation is not about winning but about finding practical and workable solutions to the problems at hand. Try to look at the issues through the eyes of the other person, and think about what might work for them as well as what would work for you. The mediator will help you to think laterally and outside of the box: the solutions that you can agree in mediation are generally more creative and varied than those imposed by a court. They will also be solutions that you have chosen, and which are unique to your particular family circumstances.
For further information about Mediation please contact us to book a FREE 15 MINUTE CHAT or to book an initial meeting.
T: 01923 909343